Love Sick
by BlackBelt
Summary: rewritten OOCness, sequel to Jealous Thoughts, Denial Ideas: Poor Sakura! First she gets the flu and is bedridden. Now her overprotective boyfriend and teammates are going to 'heal' her. May God have mercy on her soul.
1. Part One

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto. It is the sole property of Masashi Kishimoto. All rights reserved.

_**Love Sick**_

**Genre:** Humor/Romance

**Pairings:** Sasuke/Sakura, minor Naruto/Sakura, Kakashi/Shizune

**Rating:** T

**Summary:** (rewritten) OOCness, for Sakura's birthday, sequel to _**Jealous Thoughts, Denial Ideas**_: Poor Sakura! First she gets the flu and is bedridden. Now her overprotective boyfriend and teammates are going to 'heal' her. May God have mercy on her soul.

**Note:** I took out the mention of Naruto/Hinata. I apologize, but I really am not fond of the couple.

**Part One**

Another peaceful day in the village of Konoha was about to start. The golden sun was slowly creepy its way up above the horizon to touch the sleepy ninja village. It would be a day of events and excitement. At least it will be for Haruno Sakura.

Today her boyfriend was going to take her out for a special treat after the lesson with Kakashi-sensei. She had been looking forward to this for the past three days and finally he day had come.

Uchiha Sasuke.

The name could make her sigh dreamily. Who would have thought the seventeen-year-old could be so…so romantic! The man would spoil her with the best food, the best places, the best gifts, the best _everything_. He just loved to see her big green eyes go even wider and her face break out into a happy grin.

Of course, he did have his flaws.

Like he was possessive.

Ok, that was the understatement of the year.

He was very, VERY possessive. He loved Sakura as a person, but he couldn't help but go around saying she belonged to him. That was usually followed by some threats of shoving some very sharp weapon down a throat. He made sure she was always in eyesight and would start to let his deadly aura pour out when any male came near her.

No one spoke to his kunoichi without his permission.

This, of course, led to some difficulties.

Rock Lee was the first one. He was still very fond of the sweetheart, despite his affection now on TenTen, so he would enjoy talking to her.

This made Sasuke mad.

Then there was Hyuuga Neji. He and Sasuke still had an intense rivalry that only exploded when the coffee-haired man formed a tiny crush on Sakura. It made Sasuke madder than hell and grow even more hate for the man. And now that Neji found his weak spot, he would flirt shamelessly with her just to piss Sasuke off.

And finally there was their BFF Naruto. After he found out about the two he was mad, yes, but he just took it as a personal challenge. He was going to win Sakura's affection before they were all of marriageable age.

This also made Sasuke furious.

Especially since Naruto was actually getting very good at seducing.

Sasuke hated it when men moved in on his territory . Sakura. Sasuke was also someone who loved to flaunt his victory, whether just a smirk, a sneer, or an insult. But with Sakura, he would hold her around the waist, the shoulders, or her hands. He would give her kisses, nuzzles, and whisper soft words into her ear. He would then smirk at all of the jealous glares that the males would give him.

His Inner Sasuke would go wild with taunts and psychotic laughing of "SAKURA IS MINE! HAHAHAH!"

But Sakura was not the only one who was looking forward to the date. Sasuke loved being with his girlfriend and spending time with her. It was something he enjoyed and it brought happiness to his dark life.

Sakura was a treasure he had over-looked before, but no more. He can now see the precious flower and refuses to let her get away. He loved the girl with all his heart and nothing will take away his happiness.

Oh! Where has this story gone too? Back to the subject . . .ahem.

Another peaceful day in the village of Konoha was about to start. The golden sun was slowly creepy its way up above the horizon to touch the sleepy ninja village. It would be a day of events and excitement. At least it will be for Haruno Sakura.

Today was the day! The big date. Sakura went to bed early so as she could get up without any trouble and start her glorious day. However. . .

The light pink covers that covered the small lump were vibrating from her shivers. Small coughs and wheezes kept erupting from underneath the blankets.

Sakura felt like she was covered in ice. Her short hair, which was usually bouncy and shiny, was dull and flat. Her green eyes, typically full of life, were tired and lifeless. Her skin, once a soft peach color, was a ghastly pale except for her cheeks that were flushed red.

To put it simply she looked awful.

And the poor thing felt as bad as she looked.

Her throat was sore and it felt as if it was made of cotton, as she couldn't swallow well. She had a glass of water next to her bed and she hoped it would help her throat. But as she tried to move her hand she found it sore and limp. She tried again but it remained where it was. And even if her mother was home, she doubted she would be able to call to her loud enough to get help.

She could barely breathe so she knew she couldn't speak.

She felt nauseated as her stomach gave a queasy lurch. Sakura knew that if she didn't get up soon she would vomit all over her bed. And no one, not even Sasuke, messed with her bed.

The pink-hair girl groaned as she tried to pick herself up so she wouldn't get sick over herself. Disappointment made its way to her eyes as she realized she wasn't able to go on the date she had been looking so forward to.

But the disappointment was replaced by fear, feeling worse as she tried to pick herself up.

'Of all the days for mama to be out on a mission.' She whimpered as she tried to pick herself up only to fall back down limply.

'Oh hell.'

* * *

Sasuke sighed as he ran his hand through his hair waiting for his girlfriend to show up. He leaned back against the railing of the bridge as he waited. Pretty soon Sakura would come skipping up with a big childish grin on her face. She would spot him, wave, her smile going up tenfold, before running up to him and enveloping him in a hug and a quick peck on the cheek.

He would wrap his arms around her waist and allow her to lean against him as they either chat or he allowed her to fall into a light sleep. Then Naruto would come in his loud manor disturbing her sleep or interrupt their conversation. That would lead into Sakura grabbing him and placing him in a headlock and Sasuke growling at him for interrupting his time with his girlfriend.

Then they would wait for two hours either in silence or he would listen to Naruto and Sakura converse, growling whenever Naruto got too friendly, before Kakashi would pop out with his "Yo!" and lame excuse as Sakura and Naruto chewed him out.

Finally they would train. He and the dobe would challenge each other, as Sakura watched on with a shake of her head and Kakashi chuckling as he read his book.

Then Kakashi would poof out, probably to go see his fiancée, Shizune. Then Naruto would run off either to go train or try to snuggle up to Sakura—which Sasuke would block him. They two would bicker and snap at each other as they took Sakura to Tsunade, who she trained under.

Then both he and the dobe would go train, together or separate, before picking up the girl and taking her home. They would be invited in by her mother, both accepting, and all of them would have pleasant conversation (despite the fact her mother stating Sakura should marry _both_ of them).

It was normal. And he looked forward to it.

But today he was taking Sakura out on a date. She was only going to stay two hours with Tsuande then the Hokage would help her get ready and he would pick her up and be off.

Just him and Sakura. No Kakashi. No Tsunade. And most definitely no Naruto.

Just thinking about it almost made him. . .dare he think it? Giddy. Being with Sakura placed him on cloud nine. He smiled, he laughed, he blushed, and he just_ felt_ when he was with her. Everything about her made him go crazy.

He sighed as he looked over to where she should be walking from any minute.

Any minute.

Any minute now.

Any second.

Any second now.

Ok she was a few seconds late. No big deal.

…

Ok so she was a few minutes late. No big deal.

He gave off a twitch as he felt his protective instincts go into work mode.

'It's ok. She might be talking to Ino or someone. After all she has time. Kakashi-sensei won't be here for another three hours.' He thought as he tried to calm his '_Must-protect-my-Sakura_' instincts. But he knew he was loosing. It would only be a matter of time before he snapped and ran off to make sure no male was talking to her without his permission.

By the time Naruto arrived he was a twitching mess. "HELLO SASUKE-BASTARD! SAKURA-CHAAA?" He stopped when he saw no sign of his pink-haired love. "Hey, teme? Where's Sakura-chan?" He asked as he looked around getting ready for the playful girl to pop out and say, "BOO!"

With another twitch, "No. Clue. Dobe."

The blond twitched himself, taking a step away from the maniac. "Ok, ok. She's running a little late today. It's not a big deal. Everyone has those days. I know you're a little paranoid."

Sasuke gave the blond a look, "And you're not?"

"Bite me. It's why** I** would be better for Sakura-chan. I can give her **some **space. Anyway, as I was saying before I was so _rudely_ interrupted." He huffed, straightening himself out, wanting to look good as he scolded his rival. "Don't freak out. She might've forgot to set her alarm clock. Maybe the pig stopped her. Kakashi-sensei won't be here for a while. Let's not go and tear down the village yet."

Naruto shrugged, "For all we know she is brushing her teeth for the hundredth time. You know her and needing to stay clean."

The dark-haired teen sighed, he had to agree. His precious Sakura had an obsession with hygiene. She loved baths, showers, brushing her teeth, brushing her hair, and just overall being clean. Now that didn't stop her from getting dirty. Sometimes he thought that she got dirty all for the sake of getting clean again.

He chuckled under his breath at the thought of the girl, his nerves calming down a bit.

He could wait a little while longer for her.

* * *

Ino tapped her foot impatiently as she waited for Sakura to come out. She had been waiting for her friend for nearly twenty minutes now and no one made Yamanaka Ino wait.

"Five…four…three…screw it. I'm going in." Growling, she went on and invited herself in.

"Forehead!" She cried out once inside. "Come on! We're late!"

She pursed her lips when she got no response. "Don't tell me you're still asleep. Ugh! Moron. Naruto is rubbing off on you." Huffing she stormed into the home and straight up the stairs.

Throwing the door open she scowled darkly at the lump in the bed, "You are still asleep! You bitch! If I can't sleep in, no one can!" Stomping over she pulled the blankets off, prepared to rant, only to look surprised and concerned. "Forehead...?"

Her blue eyes widened as she took in the sight of her friend. "Whoa…you look…horrible."

The girl looked up at her, her face a pale green. "Help me to the bathroom." She rasped out.

The blonde nodded as she helped the girl up and to the restroom. Within seconds of arriving to the toilet Sakura lost all the contents in her stomach.

Ino flinched. "Are you ok?" She received a glare in return. "Stupid question? Yeah. Yeah. But damn, Sakura! You look terrible! Ugh! Great, you got some vomit on yourself! Here, I will make you a bath then you are going straight to bed."

The pink-haired girl nodded feeling another wave of nausea come up. The taller girl sighed as she began to run the water and get it to the right temperature. She then forced Sakura out of her . Ino walked back downstairs and placed the clothes in the washing machine before looking for some medicine that could at least settle the poor girl's stomach.

When she came back up she found Sakura coughing up her insides again.

Ino flinched, trying to remember her own medical training, and help Sakura out through this. She pretty much had to force Sakura to swallow the water and pills before heaving her into the bath then bed.

Poor Sakura fell unconscious during bath time.

After tucking her into bed, Ino made sure everything was locked up and ran out. She needed to tell Sasuke and the rest of the team that their Sakura wasn't well.

* * *

Kakashi couldn't help but chuckle at the sight.

The two boys were having mental breakdowns as they waited for Sakura to show up. It was very unlike her, she was never late. But, though he was worried, he was confident his and the Hokage's apprentice was fine. Tsunade was not easy to please, so Sakura was definitely something.

And it was thanks to her being the apprentice of the famous medical-nin that he now had a fiancée. It was through Sakura that he met Shizune, Sakura's other teacher and Tsunade's other apprentice.

They didn't hit it off so well at first. He could be a slob, lazy, and perverted. He had no shame! But Shizune was obsessed with being clean, tidy, and organized. She was very worry-warted and was highly against Kakashi's reading.

He smiled and an almost perverted blush appeared on his face and a girly giggle escaped his masked covered mouth. "Ooh! I wuve my little Shizune-Chan!" He sang out.

He stopped his daydream of his soon-to-be-wife and looked back at his two 'little brothers'.

Naruto was crouched in a ball on the ground, "I'm a tough ninja. I'm a tough ninja. She's ok. I can handle her being late. I'm a tough ninja."

And Sasuke was banging his head against a tree to calm his worry.

It wasn't working.

But he wasn't in any position to make fun. He would do the same thing if something happened to Shizune. He jumped down deciding to intervene before one pupil placed himself in a coma and the other was sent to the asylum.

"Sasuke, Naruto. I know you're worried about Sakura, but she can take care of herself! I'm sure she is ok!" He stopped when he received the "Uchiha Glare" and an animal snarl. With a defeated sigh he held up his hands before taking out his book.

If no one was going to train, he was going to take some time to read. He'll give Sakura another few minutes and then go and find her. And properly scold her for worrying them all.

That was until a familiar shrill voice filled his ears.

"SASUKE-KUUUUUN!" Ino squealed out as she appeared before all of them, her face flushed bright red from running.

Naruto blinked as he looked over at her. "Ino-pig? What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be with your team? Or at least that lazy-ass of a boyfriend of yours?"

Ino growled as she punched him straight in the jaw. "I'm not a pig, you bastard! And don't insult my Shika-kun! Anyway! Sasuke-kun! It's about Sakura!" In a second she found herself staring into red and black pools. He activated his Sharingan and was ready for some blood.

"What?" He hissed making Ino want to wet herself. "What's wrong with Sakura?"

"Sick. She's sick in bed! I think she has the stomach flu. She has a high fever and was throwing up. She's out for right _**POOF**_ now?" She looked around only to see a dust cloud that was Uchiha Sasuke.

Two more _**POOFS **_filled the area and Ino found herself alone.

"Now why can't my teammates come to my need?" She sobbed out.

* * *

Sasuke was practically clawing at Sakura's door trying to get in where his girlfriend was laying bed-ridden. She could by dying and he was stuck outside her door! Noo!

"Move it teme!" Naruto cried, smacking the distraught boy away. "I'll get in!" Only to start clawing at the door himself, meowing like a beaten kitten. "Sakura-chan! Sakura-chaaaan!"

Kakashi twitched.

These were the shinobi he has trained? They were clawing at the door nearly bawling?

At least he hasn't totally failed. Sakura was a pretty damn good kunoichi if he had to say so himself.

Pulling out a metal wire and picked the lock, similar to what Ino had done before. As soon as the door was slightly ajar, the dark-haired young man ran inside faster any of them had ever seen. Naruto cried out in anger that the Uchiha beat him to it and rushed after him.

Kakashi rubbed his head. Making his way up to her bedroom was, Kakashi had to stop and smile at the sight of Naruto gently talking to a barely awake Sakura and Sasuke pushing some hair from her face tenderly.

He then winced. His girl did look terrible.

Kakashi went over, taking off his glove as he did so, and placed it on her adorably large forehead. He winced again before placing the glove back on. "Your fever is extremely high. You will not leave this bed unless you need to go to the bathroom, and, as embarrassing as it will sound, you will need a little bit of assistance. You are in no condition to be by yourself." He stated matter of factly.

That's when he smiled. "But don't worry sweetie! Me, Naruto, and your boyfriend will help you!"

And thus started the medical care of Haruno Sakura!


	2. Part Two

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto. It is the sole property of Masashi Kishimoto. All rights reserved.

_**Love Sick**_

**Genre:** Humor/Romance

**Pairings:** Sasuke/Sakura, minor Naruto/Sakura, Kakashi/Shizune

**Rating:** T

**Summary:** (rewritten) OOCness, for Sakura's birthday, sequel to _**Jealous Thoughts, Denial Ideas**_: Poor Sakura! First she gets the flu and is bedridden. Now her overprotective boyfriend and teammates are going to 'heal' her. May God have mercy on her soul.

**Part Two**

Sakura sighed, her eyelids unwilling to pull up, as she listened to her teammate's conversation.

Now how could they hear them? Quite easily. It seems they failed to realize that sick people needed sleep and sleep calls for silence. Downstairs she could hear Naruto and Sasuke-kun getting into another fight and Kakashi giggling about one thing or another.

"THINGS NEED TO BE PERFECT! SO ALL OF YOU SHUT UP AND GET TO WORK!"

Sakura's brow twitched as a vain began to throb.

'He just _has_ to obsess over something, doesn't he? First it was revenge and power. Now it's about reviving his clan and me. OCD much? Perhaps I should see about him getting some help.' Sakura grunted, snuggling deeper into her covers.

With how bad she felt she didn't need pure silence. She was passed out within a second.

Unknowing to little Sakura-Chan, her boyfriend, teammate, and sensei were going through absolute hell.

* * *

Kakashi scowled as he flipped through the cookbook, trying to find an easy recipe for homemade chicken soup. "Ah, here we go." His visible eye crinkled in happiness, seeing the title Chicken Soup and the paragraph explaining all the health benefits of taking it when sick.

"Perfect!" His lean finger ran down the list of ingredients and steps. "Hmm…two stalks of celery, three carrots, two potatoes, one whole chicken, chicken stock, salt, pepper, and garlic salt."

He tilted his head, "The hell is chicken stock?"

Cooking was new to the great jounin. He had lived a bachelor life of take out and frozen meals for years. The only home cooked items he ate were from Sakura and his fiancée.

He then shrugged. How hard could it be to make soup?

"Now…about this chicken stuff…"

* * *

Sasuke snarled as he placed Naruto in a headlock. "Damn it! I said go out and get my Sakura a stuffed rabbit! She needs something to make her feel better!"

"Why don't YOU go get it for MY Sakura-chan? I'll stay here and comfort her!" Naruto growled, trying to pull himself out of the headlock. The air was really starting to be cut off and he was starting to see spots.

"Want air? Go get the damn rabbit." Sasuke bargained, his voice steely.

The blonde boy whimpered feeling all the air from his lungs run out. "O-OK! ACK! OK!"

The Uchiha nodded with a victorious smirk. "Good. Now get going." He ordered.

Grumbling and sulking, Naruto hurried and did as told. The sooner he did this task the better. And hey, maybe Sakura will think that this is from him! It was coming out of his own pocket after all. Hah! Take that duck-butt!

Feeling rejuvenated, Naruto rushed towards the shop that would sell the adorable item.

Back at the Haruno household, Sasuke continued to smirk as he made his way back up to where his girlfriend was.

He gave off a tired and relieved sigh when he saw her. Whenever he got stressed all he needed to do was look at her and everything was right in the world.

Sasuke decided that he would stay with her while Kakashi cooked and he made the dobe clean (and get the bunny doll). Someone needed to be up here with her and make sure all her needs were tended to.

Taking a seat next to her, he made sure she was still breathing, and then made himself comfortable in her room.

A small smile appeared on his normal stoic and cold face and he gently stroked her cheeks.

* * *

Kakashi smiled gleefully as he wrapped the apron that only reached his thighs, clearly belonged to Sakura. It was a solid pink with white rabbits over it. He thought that if he was going to cook like a pro, he needed to dress like one.

Pulling out a bandana he stuffed his silver hair up into it and put on an oven-mitt.

Oh yes, Hatake Kakashi pulled off the sexy cook look to a T.

Placing the book down, the man looked around for the ingredients, still trying to figure out what the hell chicken stock was, and placed them all along the counter-top.

"Now let's see…skin the potatoes and cut them into small bite size pieces. Cut off ends of celery and cuts and also cut into bite-size pieces. Alright. Not hard at all." He threw the vegetables up into the air, his kunai spinning out from his pack, and sliced the vegetables up in mid-air.

Kakashi was quite proud of himself until he realized there were many pieces of food falling down at him and there was no place for him to put it.

"Shit!" He cried out, quickly catching all of them, as best as he could at least. There were a lot of pieces. Many fell on his hair, some luckily fell on the counter, but a nice amount rolled on the floor.

"Well…hmm…Oh! Oh right! A pot!" He piled all of the veggies on to the counter as he looked around. "Where do the Haruno's keep their pots? Teehee…pot."

* * *

"WHERE ARE THE BUNNIES!?" A Naruto, who was in the middle of a tantrum, exclaimed as he ran into the store, scaring the young woman behind the counter.

The poor girl just pointed to the right and he quickly rand in that direction. He reappeared approximately 5.2 seconds later holding a white stuffed rabbit with a pink ribbon and big black eyes "HERE!" Naruto yelped as he placed the money down and ran out not bothering with the change.

"Stupid, friggen, damn bastard. I will kill him for this. Thinking he can just order me around! I'm going to be the Hokage! No one orders the Hokage around! Right?" He looked down at the rabbit, waiting for the creature to agree with him.

"Yes, dat's right!" He said in a goofy voice, making the head of the bunny to nod.

"Hah! Knew it! You would never abandon me, Bunny-chan! You're Sakura-chan's bunny, which means you love me! Hah! Sasuke-bastard has no chance with us!" He grinned, looking very smug.

The blond never took notice of the many creeped out stares.

* * *

Sasuke was snapped out of his daydream of him and Sakura being together making many Uchiha children when he heard a loud crash from downstairs.

His Sakura moaned in her sleep, obviously the noise was disrupting her.

Growling, Sasuke was at her side, stroking her face and hair gently to try and soothe her back into a deeper sleep. He smiled in relief when she stopped moving and sighed, snuggling into her bed. She was back to sleep.

He spun and glared at the door.

Whoever made that noise was not going to see his next birthday.

Storming down stairs, he came into the kitchen, a chidori ready at his hand only to be very taken aback at the mess.

"Oh…good god." He gaped. "I'm so dead."

Pots and pans were all over the floor. All the cabinets were opened and the contents were either on the countertops or all over the place within the cabinets. There were about three pots on the stove, which was turned up to the highest level, and each were bubbling over, staining the counters.

There was a terrible odor of burnt socks. He worried the kitchen would never smell right again.

"Haruno-san is going to kill me." He muttered at the thought of his girlfriend's mother.

Sakura got everything from her mother: the forehead, the pink hair, the sea-foam green eyes, the pet peeve about hygiene and tidiness, and the short temper. Haruno Hikaru will destroy him once she sees the mess.

That's when his eyes glowed in anger. "KAKASHI!"

* * *

Sakura squeaked and shot up, regretting it as soon as she did. A wave of nausea and dizziness swept over her as her head began to pound. She fell back on her pillow whimpering.

She then groaned in misery as she felt pressure hit her lower abdomen. She had to go to the bathroom _really_ badly. Another whimper escaped her mouth as she tried to pick herself up only to fall back down.

Her bottom lip began to tremble as tears began to form in her eyes. She felt sick, all she wanted to do was go to sleep, her friends are more than likely destroying her home, and now she had to go to the bathroom and couldn't.

The petal-haired girl did the only thing she could do in this situation. She began crying.

Wait no. Not good enough term.

She began wailing. Big tears poured down her face and sobs came form her mouth as she hiccupped for air only to continue bawling again.

* * *

"You idiot! It's just soup! Boil some water add the items in, let it cook, and stir every once in a while! How the hell can you make this big of a mess? Sakura's kitchen is ruined! And her mother is going to slaughter me and you! But most importantly me!" Sasuke snarled as he glared down at the twitching pervert.

It appears Kakashi completely underestimated how hard it was to cook. He was now going through a mental breakdown and Sasuke screaming, and trying to strangle him, gave him little comfort.

That's when the Uchiha stopped and his back went stiff as he twitched.

Kakashi knew that look. It was Sasuke's "Sakura-sense". The dark haired teen then disappeared in a flash.

Sasuke flew the door open to see Sakura whimpering as tears poured down her face. "Sakura? What's wrong?" He asked as he went to her side.

"I don't feel good. And I have to go to the bathroom. And I want to go to sleep. And I'm hungry." She sobbed out as her shoulders shook.

His face went red at the mention of the second part. "We-well. Ok. Here I'll help you in there and th-then you can. . . .um. . ."

Sakura nodded, to tired to be embarrassed. He picked her up, bridal style, and helped her into the restroom. He tried to set her on her feet but she just fell.

His blush went even heavier when he realized she wouldn't be able to take off her pajama pants and, well, go. 'I have to help her.'

Nearly all of his blood gushed out of his nose at that moment.

* * *

"I'M BACK! SASUKE-TEME, STAY AWAY FROM MY SAKUUUU" Naruto screamed as he ran in the front door only to trip on the rug and fall face first onto the ground. "—ra-chan….owwie."

Kakashi came in looking down at the young man who looked to be in a lot of pain. "I see you got the bunny."

A muffled "yeah" was his only reply. His sensei just shrugged forgetting about his mental break down as he reached down and picked up the rabbit before making his way up to Sakura's room. Maybe the bunny would help her feel better.

Poor Naruto and his plan on wooing Sakura. It appears the rug was more of a Kakashi/Sakura fan.

The silver-haired man came in, tilting a brow when the two appeared out of the restroom together. Sakura was unconscious in the younger man's arms. Sasuke's face was the reddest Kakashi has ever seen.

'Ooh what a naught little boy he's turned out to be!' He thought, his mask lifting as he grinned. "Sasuke! I'm ashamed! Taking advantage of a sickly girl! And in her bathroom no less! You could of at least done it in her bed! For shame!" He teased, knowing that he would die later but it didn't matter to him. He wanted to make the Uchiha prodigy flush.

"Shut the hell up." Sasuke hissed out as he gave off a twitch, his blush going up ten-folds. "I didn't do anything to her. Perverted-bastard. Go screw Shizune if you want some fun."

The silver-haired man laughed. "Ooh! I would love to do that!"

The young teen twitched, this time in sickness at the thought. "Pervert."

Naruto then made his way into he room holding his head. "What did I miss?"

Kakashi was about to say something when Sasuke pounced on him. "SHUT THE HELL UP!"

Naruto blinked as he saw his best friend and rival attack his teacher before shrugging and walking over to Sakura, picking up the bunny on the floor. "Here ya go Sakura-Chan! I thought this would make you feel loads better cause I am a much better boyfriend for someone like you. You know I am so much better and loving and thoughtful and-"

"DAMN IT! DON'T TALK TO MY SAKURA!" The possessive Sasuke snarled out as he also tackled Naruto and pulled him into the brawl.

Poor unconscious Sakura.

And thus the medical care of Haruno Sakura continues!


	3. Part Three

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto. It is the sole property of Masashi Kishimoto. All rights reserved.

_**Love Sick**_

**Genre:** Humor/Romance

**Pairings:** Sasuke/Sakura, minor Naruto/Sakura, Kakashi/Shizune

**Rating:** T

**Summary:** (rewritten) OOCness, for Sakura's birthday, sequel to _**Jealous Thoughts, Denial Ideas**_: Poor Sakura! First she gets the flu and is bedridden. Now her overprotective boyfriend and teammates are going to 'heal' her. May God have mercy on her soul.

**Part Three**

Tsunade drummed her fingers against her desk in a bored fashion as her assistant rambled on about one thing or another. She would much rather be drinking some sake or training her adorable student.

She popped her jaw, a habit she really should break, looking out the window wistfully. It was such a nice day. She shouldn't be dealing with…this…

"I think lemon custard. But white is so traditional! But there is also the idea of cupcakes. But would that be more expensive? Would those dry out? What if everyone wants more than one cupcake? And would it all be the same flavor? Or should it be chocolate and vanilla? But if I do that, what kind of chocolate should it be?"

Tsunade grunted, listening to Shizune ramble about the upcoming wedding.

'If it's not one thing it's another.' The Hokage thought as her obsessive-apprentice continued to wonder aloud what would be needed for the ceremony and after party.

'I need alcohol.'

* * *

Coughing a bit, Sakura slowly opened her eyes, wincing as the sunlight hit her. Groaning, she slowly pulled herself up, wanting to stay in bed.

But her stomach gave off a grumble. Communicating with her, "Feeeed me. Feeeed me."

Apparently, she needed food.

Not wanting to bother her teammates anymore Sakura eased herself off the bed, her petite feet entering her house-shoes, placed on her light pink robe, and made her way to the door.

Slowly opening it, she looked both left and right, seeing no one in sight. Feeling better and with a grin she entered the hallway about to make her way down stairs when a growl came from behind her.

She had no chance before arms were wrapped around her waist and she was pulled back.

"Where do you think you are going?" Sasuke asked, not too happy that she was sneaking off.

Looking a bit embarrassed that she was caught; Sakura gave him a sheepish grin over her shoulder. "I-I was just going down to get some food." It was nice to have her voice back.

Eyes narrowed, the Uchiha picked her back up and marched back to her room. Placing her on her bed, he tucked her in. "You will not leave this bed. You are too sick. Just ell me whatever you want and I will get it."

Blushing, Sakura refused to meet his eyes. He was going into possessive-romantic-mode. He could make her a pile of goo by the things he says and does.

Smirking, Sasuke knew he won. Again, he had to flaunt his victory.

Naruto is right to call him a bastard.

Bending down he nuzzled himself between her ear and hair and purred making her squeak and blush all the more. Chuckling he moved a piece of hair from her face and blew into her ear.

"You're cute when you blush."

* * *

Kakashi decided to try again at soup making. He swore that once Sakura was better he was going to spend time with his soon-to-be-wife and learn how to cook. It was tougher than it looked!

After quickly cleaning the kitchen, the jounin was once again ready to get boiling! Now he was fully prepared. He had a pot filled with water already steaming, just beginning to bubble. He had the ingredients set in an orderly fashion ready for chopping. A knife, a large spoon, and a peeler were also ready.

Kakashi the Iron Chef!

Iron Chef Kakashi Vs. The Difficult Chicken Soup!

Begin!

The sliver-haired man was giddy as he imagination went into TV. Mode.

* * *

Naruto sighed as he scrubbed the floor of _his _girlfriend's home. He never knew that cleaning could be this exhausting, though he had never really ever cleaned before. It was one reason why his apartment could smell a bit sour.

Wiping some sweat of his brow he continued to work.

"I hope my Sakura-chan will get better soon." He looked all down, remembering the pink-haired girl and what she was suffering through. "MY POOR SAKUR-CHAN!" He bawled.

She was so sick and weak. She was probably up in her room crying for him as Sasuke-teme continued to be a perverted creep.

"NOO! DON'T BE SAD MY POOR LITTLE SAKURA-CHAN!"

* * *

Sakura silently fumed as she waited for Sasuke to come back up with some soup. Every time he wanted something he did that romantic thing and turn her into mush. It was impossible for her to say no to him and that was just not fair.

She swore she would get revenge on him.

Frowning her thoughts then turned to confusion. "Why hasn't shishou or Shizune-sensei come to see me? I know they could have healed me faster than this. I would be able to, but shishou says until you have had years, upon years of medical experience do not perform a healing jutsus on yourself when you are sick."

Blinking, she leaned back into her pillow, bringing her stuffed rabbit to her chest she continued. "I wonder what they said to Kakashi-sensei when he told them I was sick."

* * *

Sasuke smirked triumphantly as he strode down the stairs to the kitchen, knowing his Sakura would stay in place . . .at least for a good fifteen minutes.

Opening up the door to the kitchen he sweat-dropped at what he saw.

His sensei was jumping around with a knife performing weird stunts as he called off some heroic pick-up lines.

"Fear not fair Shizune-hime! I, the great Iron Chef Kakashi, will vanquish the evil carrots and turn them into soup for you!"

Sasuke twitched as the immature man continued in his daydream. At least the soup was getting made, somehow, and there was no mess, somehow.

He also appeared to be enjoying himself quite well.

* * *

Naruto continued to be an over-dramatic-boyfriend as he dusted the living room. "Sasuke is no good for her. What if my poor Sakura-chan falls down a well when his back is turned? What if a horned lizard chases my poor Sakura-chan? What if she falls, gets sicker, and DIES!"

"What if she gets kidnapped by mutated ramen noodles and is forced to do a strip tease?" Sasuke snapped sarcastically. "Sakura is MINE dumbass. I won't let any of those things happen to her."

Of course our favorite future Hokage is a bit dense when it comes to these things and didn't hear the sarcasm nor the last part.

"NOOOO! NOT THE MUTATED RAMEN!" The duster didn't even hit the floor when he was halfway across the village, ready to get to Ichiraku before the noodles took over the world.

Sasuke blinked as he saw the dust trail that was left from a speeding Naruto begin to slowly disappear. He had never seen him move so fast, even when ramen was half-priced off.

Though an idiot, he was powerful. Sasuke really did need to be careful in leaving his darling angel near him.

* * *

Sakura was busying herself as she played with the stuffed toy bunny she just received. Making it dance, ski, boogie, disco, gymnastics, shake it's groove thing, the Hustle, jump rope, become super man, save the world, and get married to the stuffed monkey she had. It kept her very happy and entertained.

Laughing she brought out her teddy bear and her voice grew deeper as she forced the monkey behind it. "Ha-Ha-Ha! I have your husband Super Bunny! You will never defeat me now!"

She then moved the monkey with the dark green vest aground its chest, and said in lighter, but still deeper than her own, voice, "Save yourself Bunny! It's too dangerous!"

She then picked up her bunny and made its paws go to its hips. "Nothing is to dangerous for me! For I am. . .SUPER BUNNY! The strongest female bunny there ever is! Take that, Dr. Bear! And that! Ka-pow! Bang! Bang!"

"Augh! You have defeated me!"

"Oh thank-you Bunny! Now we can live happily ever after!"

Lets just say Sakura knows how to amuse herself.

* * *

By the time Shizune had got to the 1,287 thing on her what-to-do and what-I-want-to-do list the Godaime was a twitching mess.

"Now! Should we go classic and fancy and release doves? Or should we show that we are ninjas and throw kunai's in the air with explosion tags on them that burst in the sky like fireworks?"

Sighing, Tsunade rubbed her throbbing head. "The kunai idea sounds original. Do that."

Grinning up at her sensei, Shizune fully agreed. "Great idea Tsunade-sama! Now for Naruto do you think we should actually serve ramen or just tell him it's my wedding and he will chock down anything we place in front of him . . .Hhmmm. . . Choking it is!"

Tsunade was using all her will power not to bang her head repentantly on her desk.

* * *

Sasuke blinked again as he walked in to the kitchen hoping that Sakura's food was ready. He saw that Kakashi was still playing around, this time he had reached Shizune and was fighting back an army of potatoes.

"Gasp! We are surrounded my love!" He squealed out in a girly voice, making the Uchiha grimace in absolute annoyance.

"Don't worry Shizune-hime! Our love will over-power these terrible beings!"

'Dear Lord, he needs medication.'

And thus the medical care of Haruno Sakura continued!


	4. Part Four: Final Chapter!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto. It is the sole property of Masashi Kishimoto. All rights reserved.

_**Love Sick**_

**Genre:** Humor/Romance

**Pairings:** Sasuke/Sakura, minor Naruto/Sakura, Kakashi/Shizune

**Rating:** T

**Summary:** (rewritten) OOCness, for Sakura's birthday, sequel to _**Jealous Thoughts, Denial Ideas**_: Poor Sakura! First she gets the flu and is bedridden. Now her overprotective boyfriend and teammates are going to 'heal' her. May God have mercy on her soul.

**Part Four**

**Final Chapter**

Sasuke decided to leave Naruto to his ridiculous imagination (really, mutated ramen?). He went back into the kitchen, ignoring Kakashi and whatever the hell he was doing, and picked up the soup.

It was a surprise, but it was actually made.

He inspected the food, making sure there was nothing that could make her sicker, and went back upstairs. As he got climbed the stairs he could hear the disturbing squealing of the jounin, "Oh Kakashi! Take me I'm yours!"

He hoped his cherry blossom couldn't hear the impure noises coming from her kitchen. That whole room would need to be bleached after all of this.

Hurrying up to his love's room, he wanted to see her once more time. Because once Hikaru returned, he was going to die. His head would be chopped off and placed over the fireplace.

He winced when he heard the dobe (apparently back from his mission) give off a girly squeal followed by a loud BANG and CRASH, signaling that he tripped and broke something.

"Please don't tell me that was the ashes of Coco-chan." He pleaded; knowing that both Sakura and Hikaru would kill him for that, considering it was already his fault that the rabbit died.

After an earth-shattering kiss from Sakura that sent him onto cloud nine, Sasuke never noticed the bunny in front of him. Let's just say it had been a bloody mess.

Tears began to stream down his face, "I didn't mean to run over it! I-I-I'm so sorry Sakura!"

No one knows how exactly he ran over it when cars didn't exist in his world.

He practically broke down into sobs as he remembered the heart-broken look of his Sakura when she discovered the dead bunny. It broke his heart whenever he saw her sad face filled with tears. It also broke his spine whenever Hikaru and/or Tsuande and/or Shizune got pissed at him

Shizune, Hikaru, and the Hokage were fiercely protective over the female and if anyone made her sad those that made her sad would die. Simple as that.

And unfortunately he had made her cry that time when he killed Coco-chan. Neither Itachi nor Orochimaru could inflict that much pain as the females of the "We Love Sakura" club could.

Up in her room, Sakura sweatdropped as she heard her boyfriend begin to sob, knowing exactly what it was about. "I already told Sasuke-kun that Coco-chan was the spawn of Satan and that he bit mommy everyday. I just didn't like the way it twitched as he died." She deadpanned as she hugged the stuffed rabbit to her chest. Looking down she pouted, "Sasuke-kun just doesn't listen does he Bunny-chan?"

Her voice went to a higher squeak as she talked for the bunny. "No he doesn't Sakura-chan! But he's male so we have to forgive him."

Nodding, understanding the logic her stuffed animal was talking about Sakura laughed out, "You're right Bunny-chan! Sasuke-kun is a male," She flushed at this remembering all the times he would shove her into a dark corner and proceeded to do very naughty things to her. "So of course he doesn't listen."

Her rabbit nodded, "Of course I'm right! I'm Super Bunny!"

Laughing Sakura slapped her forehead at her ignorance, "Of course! Silly me!"

"Sakura? Are you having conversations with your stuffed animals again?" Sasuke's voice called out from her door, obviously not crying over the past anymore (Sasuke _not _caring about the past? Has the world gone MAD?).

With a crazed look in her eyes, Sakura looked over the room as if someone was going to steal her precious bunny. "No!" She then brought the animal to her chest and began to stroke it. "They won't get it will they precious? My own. My love. My precioussssss." She hissed out.

Yes, Haruno Sakura was a bit insane, especially when she is bedridden and is coming down with Cabin Fever.

* * *

Not having to cook anymore Kakashi decided he better help clean up, since he did cause the mess.

It actually didn't take as long as it did to cook the meal. Using his shinobi talents he was able to clean it all up in a matter of seconds.

Looking at the spotless kitchen, a smug grin went to his face, "Hah! Look at that precious Shizune-hime! I can clean rather well!" His visible eye took on the shape of a heart and stars shimmered everywhere. "When we have kids I'll help clean up the kitchen! And then you'll be so pleased that you have a husband that helps out that we can have sex all night long!"

His fist clenched, "Boo-yeah! Steamy hot sex!" He cried out.

"DEAR GOD MY EARS!" Naruto sobbed out from the living room. "Kakashi you pervert! I don't want to hear about your damn sex life! Oh God I think I'm about to be ill!"

From upstairs a pissed out Sasuke roared, "BOTH OF YOUR SHUT THE HELL UP! MY SAKURA IS TRYING TO SLEEP! AND DAMN IT KAKASHI! SAKURA DOES NOT NEED TO HEAR IMPURE SAYINGS LIKE STEAMY HOT SEX!"

Frowning Kakashi crossed his arms over his chest huffy out like a child. "JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T DONE IT DOESN'T MEAN IT'S BAD! I'M SURE YOU AND SAKURA WILL HAVE A GRAND TIME!" The silver-haired jounin snickered, obviously had found some sugar products and was now even more so hyperactive.

"I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW WE HAVE DONE IT!"

Both Kakashi and Naruto could fell their jaws drop. Falling to his knees, in a very dramatic manor, Kakashi looked dead. "My sixteen year old students have done it before me." He muttered in disbelief. Yes ladies, Hatake Kakashi was indeed a virgin.

"WHAAAAT! NOOO! NOOOOO!" Naruto wailed, falling to his knees too. "MY SAKURA-CHAN!"

"_**SASUKE!**_" A very pissed off Sakura roared making the house shake and everyone wet themselves.

"Oh shit." Kakashi heard the Uchiha gasp out, realizing that he was a dead man.

"S-S-S-Sakur-a-a, I didn't - -" He didn't get to finish as an animal-like roar came from upstairs followed by a very girly scream from the prodigy himself.

"_**HOW DARE YOU TELL THEM THAT, YOU LYING-BASTARD! I TOLD YOU THAT WE WOULDN'T DO IT AT LEAST TILL WE WERE EIGHTEEN!**_" Both Kakashi and Naruto giggled, finding out that Sasuke had lied to look cool. "_**AND KAKASHI YOU BETTER NOT BE EATING MY SUGAR CANDY YOU SUGAR-STEALING-BASTARD! AND NARUTO IF THAT WAS THE VASE THAT HELD THE ASHES OF MY BUNNY FROM HELL YOU WILL SUFFER LIKE NO OTHER, YOU DEAD-BUNNY-KILLING-BASTARD! NOW ALL OF YOU SHUT THE HELL UP!**_"

"Yes Sakura-sama!" They all cried out instantly shutting up.

Well, we all know who is really in charge of Team Seven.

* * *

Tsuande didn't hold back anymore and she proceeded to slam her head repeatedly against her wooden desk.

Her best friend didn't seem to notice or mind as she continued on about her upcoming wedding. "And, aw! Won't Sakura look absolutely adorable in a pink gown? And oh! Sasuke should were pink too, so that they match! And Naruto will have to wear. . .hm what should it be? Let me think. . .Oh red! And the wedding cake will be chocolate cause everyone loves chocolate! No…it will be lemon…not it will be a cupcake…Hmmm. I'm hungry."

'Oh God I want my sake!' She sobbed in her mind. 'I also want something deep-fried smothered in chocolate, caramel, and grease!' Deciding she couldn't take anymore, the Hokage shot up, startling the black-haired woman. Forcing a smile the blonde stated, "Why don't we get Sakura and go get something unhealthy to eat?"

Shizune was out the door squealing, "SAKURA-CHAN! UNHELATHY FOOD! HELL YEAH!"

With a smug smirk, Tsuande walked after her, looking foreword to stuffing her face and perhaps adding a few pounds to her body. Cause when a woman is suffering she could care less about how fat she was as long as she got her cravings.

Men know better than to come between a woman and her sweets.

And now a word from the women of the world: _**DAMN STRAIGHT! NO ONE WILL GET BETWEEN US AND OUR FOOD!**_

* * *

Sakura blinked as she looked around before looking over at her boyfriend that looked like he was terrified to even touch her, obviously feeling quite guilty for lying about them sleeping together.

"Sasuke-kun? Did you just here some voices screaming something or another about food?" She asked before opened her mouth and allowed the Uchiha survivor to feed her. She gushed at the feeling of the warm soup running down her throat and into her empty stomach.

"Hm? No, I did not hear psychopathic bitches screaming about being fat." He stated back.

And now another word from the women of the world: _**WHAT WAS THAT YOU BASTARD! A PSYCHOPATHIC-BITCHES! YOU-YOU-YOU SAKURA-HATER! THAT'S RIGHT! YOU DISGUSTING BASTARD ARE A SAKURA-HATER!**_

Sasuke stopped and felt a shudder run down his spine. Looking at him, Sakura reached over and ran a hand threw his hair.

"What's wrong?" She asked before she allowed herself to be hand-fed once again.

Sasuke felt completely at ease as she stroked him, keeping him stable. Unfortunately he could not shake off the feeling that he just pissed off more females who had the power to make his life miserable and kick his ass so bad that he would loose all things that made him a male.

"N-nothing. Here, eat your food. You need nutrients to get better." He ordered making her sigh. He was a bossy-jackass when he wanted to be.

With a roll of her eyes, Sakura obliged but not before giving him a mocking glare.

After swallowing the last bit of food, Sakura gave her boyfriend another glare. "You are bossy, you know that?" She snapped which only made him shrug before he used a rag to wipe of her face. She growled and slapped his hand away, "Stop babying me!" She whined which only made him smirk. "And stop smirking at me damn it! You, Naruto, Kakashi-sensei. . .Hell, everybody in this damn village spoils and babies me! Why?" She demanded a pout forming on her lips making her sinfully cute.

To cute for Sasuke's hormones.

Without waiting for her to continue her rants he slammed his mouth on hers.

* * *

Kakashi and Naruto grinned at one another as they looked at the Haruno's house. It was clean! They had actually cleaned the house extremely well and did not break anything! Save for the vase that held the remains of the bunny who was Satan's spawn, but they cleaned that up and placed it in a teakettle.

Looking at one another they let another grin wipe over their faces before giving the thumbs up sign.

"Won't Sakura-chan and Hikaru-san be so happy with how well we cleaned this all up!" Naruto chortled. as he began to bounce, happy as happy can be. "Now Sakura-chan will see me as a better husband for her!"

"You bet! And won't my Shizune-hime just love that I can cook and clean! YAY! I can be her slave!"

Naruto twitched, knowing very well what type of slave his sensei meant. "You're disgusting."

A knock came from the front of the house making the two males blink before shrugging. "I wonder who that is." Naruto stated as he walked over pulling open the door. His blue eyes came across a very large chest and knew it was the Hokage. "Hey old hag!"

_**WHAM!**_

Naruto went flying off into the distant till it looked like he was a star. We won't be seeing him any time soon.

"Stupid ass." The blonde woman seethed as she cracked her knuckles, hating it when she was called old.

"Ah! Kakashi-kun!" Shizune gasped before flushing and began to play with her fingers, much like a certain Hyuuga heiress. She loved the man but ever since they became engaged she felt so shy, and always blushed. Her husband-to-be always affectingly called her his blushing bride.

"Shizune-hime!" The silver-haired male squealed before he attacked the woman.

Tsunade twitched when she saw what perverted things were being done to her friend.

With a snort, the blonde woman entered the house looking around with a frown. "It smells like. . .Sasuke. . ." With a growl she rushed up the steps and threw open Sakura's door only to scream bloody murder.

* * *

"Oh…oh the pain…" Naruto wheezed, lodged in a tree with his face a swollen bloody mess.

"I can't feel…" He gasped, feeling like he was about to pass out. "Sakura-chaaaan, save me!"

* * *

Haruno Hikaru sighed in a bored fashion as she glared at the Kazekage who was glaring right back. She had been sent here by the Hokage to give a message to the leader of the Sand. She wasn't a shinobi but she was a close friend with the Hokage and Hikaru had been taught the ways of politics.

So here she was glaring dangerously at the emotionless man.

"Aren't you going to say anything you panda-bastard?" She hissed making the male twitch as he gave her a furious glare that usually made anyone wet themselves.

Unfortunately Gaara was dealing with a Haruno, and everyone knows that Harunos are insane.

"Don't you threaten me you bastard!" She roared as she stomped over at him and grabbed him by the ear and dragged him after her, much to the shocked faces of his siblings and the council. A yelp escaped the red-haired man's lips as the woman's hand slapped against his rear. "You need to learn discipline! You do not glare at an adult! Bad panda! Bad!"

"GET HER OFF OF ME!" Gaara screamed, feeling very embarrassed that he was getting spanked. Seeing them hide their laughter the Kazekage roared, "I SAID GET THIS BITCH OFF OF ME!"

"_**WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT YOU BRAT! YOU STUPID PANDA! DIE!"**_ She then tackled the man to the ground. And that was the day that Gaara, leader of Sand, holder of a terrible demon, screamed like a girl as he was beaten to a pulp by a psychotic woman that was not a shinobi.

* * *

Tsunade screamed as she saw Sasuke on top of Sakura, his shirt off and hers practically falling off. His lips were on her neck when she had first arrived, his hands going way to low for the blonde's liking. Sakura blinked; completely dazed from the attention she was getting from her boyfriend.

Sasuke looked a deer caught in the headlines.

"Oh crap." He muttered before he was attacked.

"GET OFF MY BABY! YOU PERVERT!" She screamed making Sakura squeak before Sasuke was grabbed by his hair and picked up. "Sakura, did he hurt you?" She cooed making Sakura smile.

"I'm fine; he was being a bit aggressive but it's ok. And I'm sorry I didn't meet up with you. But I'm sure the guys told you I've had the stomach flu all day."

Sasuke went rigid before he slapped his forehead, his body still dangling up in the hair by the hair. They had completely forgotten to tell the woman. Well now he was going to be killed ever worse now.

"YOU DIDN'T EVEN TELL ME THAT MY BABY WAS SICK! DIE!" Sakura just smiled as her boyfriend was thrown out the window.

"Oh…I-I can't feel." Sasuke wheezed, lodged in a tree.

"Welcome to the club." Naruto whimpered, right next to him.

Walking over to her, Tsunade placed a hand on the slightly large forehead before smiling. "You all better! Just need to keep drinking fluids and stick to soup and just stay in bed today. You will have to go easy tomorrow but you can go train if you do."

After tucking her in, Tsunade left to go find Naruto and Sasuke to continue beating them bloody.

Both were still near unconscious in a tree.

Shizune and Kakashi were doing bad things on Sakura's doorstep.

Haruno Hikaru was beating the Kazekage to a bloody pulp.

Sakura was fast asleep in her bed.

And thus the medical care of Haruno Sakura ended!

_End_


End file.
